Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Pet Peeves

Let me start out by saying that we had a wonderful Christmas even though Cody and my brother Richard were in Colorado. It was relatively calm and not as overwhelming in the childrens' present department as it has been in the past.

Ok, so now that you know that I don't always complain, I'll get on with two pet peeves that have been driving me crazy.

The first is especially maddening lately. I know you parents will join me in my quest to eliminate the wire twist ties that hold toys into their boxes. I am so fed up with having to endlessly untwist these things as my impatient and excited children sit watching me and bouncing and saying, "is it out yet?, how about now?, is it out yet?" over and over and over. It has really become ridiculous. If a thief wants the toy that bad, just let him have it. Don't punish the hard-working parents by requiring us to own a blow torch just to get the toy out. And it's not just the ties, now there are plastic tabs held down by industrial strength tape and string that is impervious to human teeth. Come on! Give me a break here. If you must tie the toy down, at least pick one restraining method and stick with it. Most toys have a combination of all of them which makes me picture a man in a dark room somewhere laughing in delight as he secures Barbie's horse drawn carriage to it's box, all the while imagining a parent attempting to extract the carriage while stifling expletives and applying bandages to the bloody stumps where their fingers used to be.

The other thing that has me all in a tizzy these days are those wonderful inspiring and love filled emails with the guilt message at the end. I am usually moved by the body of the email and I am making a mental list of all of the people who I would like to forward it to, when...BAM! The next line reads something to the effect of: If you do not forward this email to every single person in your address book then you are a faithless, loveless, useless slug of a person who barely qualifies as human. You have single-handedly condemned the souls of all the people you know. You will have no chance at getting into Heaven and forget about being rich and famous. You will enter a self-loathing, ungrateful, maniacal state of mind from which you will never recover. Do you want to know what I do with these emails now? I delete them. They are gone. The people to whom I wanted to send the original message are far too important to me to send them something so guilt inducing. Here's what I want to say to whoever it was that tagged that little disclaimer onto those wonderful emails: Shame on you for turning something so wonderful into yet another way to make people feel guilty. It defeats the whole purpose of the original message and it ruins it for everyone.

Aaaahhhhh, I feel so much better!

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Erica said...

Megan you crack me up. JD and I absolutely detest those stupid twist ties and I totally agree about the guilt messages. Wanna know my pet peeve of the holiday season? People pumping my child full of junk and getting upset with ME when I tell her no more cookies/candy/cake/crap etc until you eat some real food. SERIOUSLY what is so hard about understanding that a 2 yr old needs to eat a real dinner instead of cupcakes and candy. And YES "just one" does totally doom her eating any damn dinner.

GAAAHHH, ok vent over ;D

12/28/06, 5:48 PM  
Blogger stephanie said...

So you mean you're NOT going to hell if you don't forward every "if you love baby Jesus..." email...NOW someone tells me.

I could've sworn that was in the bible...right beside the "do not swear" part;)

ok. enough with all this blasphemy spewing from my mouth. hope I don't end up in the fire pit. If I was catholic, now would be the time for me to go to confession.

12/28/06, 9:13 PM  

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