Flying and Crying

I do not understand airplane rules.

Do you know why babies cry on airplanes? I do. I found out today. It's because it says they must in the flight attendant handbook. All babies on board must cry. There, in black and white. It must be true. Why else would they tell me that I had to remove my sleeping son from the quiet little sanctuary of his front carrier?

I had it all planned out. I have traveled with babies before. I know full well how much better the trip goes if the baby is asleep. THAT'S WHY I PUT HIM IN THE CARRIER TO BEGIN WITH!!

But no, apparently riding on a plane with an infant in a front carrier is akin to holding him out the window while driving 80 mph on a California freeway. It must never be done. The child must be awakened and therefore forced to scream for the remainder of the flight. Had I known about this ludicrous rule before boarding the plane, I would have made sure to pack lots of alcohol in 3 ounce bottles which of course would then be placed in plastic ziploc bags so that my baby and I would not be arrested on suspicion of a terrorist plot.

Can't wait for the return flight!