Rain and Sunshine

I know my blogging has been sparse over the last couple of years. I've always kind of thought of my blog as a kind of therapy for me. A place where I can retell our stresses and daily lives with a bit of humor (hopefully) and a new perspective. However, the last two years held what seemed like one life-changing battle after another. We all go through storms in our lives but, to us, it seemed like a never-ending tsunami of grief and uncertainty. Don't get me wrong, we had our good times and every day spent watching our children grow and learn was, of course, a blessing. But, everyday had this little shadow hanging over it. I'll start in December 2008, on the day my perfect world came crashing down.

Mom has cancer. She had found a lump, sought testing, and was informed just a couple of weeks before Christmas that she had breast cancer. She spent Christmas in the hospital that year because, during an attempt to put in a port, her lung was nicked and collapsed.

In the midst of this, we found a lump on Memphis's lower back between his spine and his skin. We were advised that is was probably a cyst, but the location was concerning, and they wanted to remove it.

In January 2009, my grandfather was diagnosed with esophagus cancer.

In February, Memphis had his surgery to remove what turned out to be a tumor, not a cyst. The good news- not cancer. Just some kind of random tumor. Honestly, the doctors did not have a specific diagnosis. Not cancer was good enough for me.

Also in February, my step-dad's sister died unexpectedly of a heart attack.

Mom had her mastectomy in March. The surgery went well, but she had months of chemo and radiation in her future.

April brought the death of my grandfather. He went in to have his tumor removed after months of treatment to shrink it. He never made it out of surgery.

Somewhere in these months (you'll forgive my memory failure please) doctors found a tumor in the center of my father's brain. Not only could they not operate, they couldn't even biopsy. And they couldn't tell whether or not it was growing. A waiting game they said. Easy for them to say.

May brought more surgery for Mom. I couldn't be with her this time because, of course, I somehow contracted the swine flu. This was when H1N1 was causing panic and I was unofficially quarantined in my home. Mom got through surgery ok though. I feel awful when I think about this surgery for her because Darrell, my step-dad, was in the hospital with pneumonia and I was home with swine flu. Thank God for a good friend of hers who went to be with her or she would have been totally alone.

Darrell was in the hospital for a lot of June.

Memphis had to have his tonsils and adenoids out in July. They were making it very hard for him to breathe, and having asthma, he just didn't need more obstacles there. He did well, but man, that was a rough 2 week recovery.

In August, I was forced to hand the reigns of my home to others while I had and recovered from a hysterectomy. By this time I knew pre-cancerous cells were nothing to mess around with. Better to get rid of them.

Mom had several bad reactions and arm infections (due to her lack of lymph nodes from the mastectomy) and other problems over these months.

Over the next couple of months, we were on a roller coaster ride with Mom's results. First, things were looking great, she was moving from chemo to radiation, and was finally on her last radiation treatment. Then, they found spots on her lungs. Metastasized breast cancer.

And, Memphis's tumor returned. Bigger and badder than ever. Removal was suggested once again. We asked for a quick surgery date and in December we checked him in again, praying for the same results as last time.

Mom had to have her spots biopsied and, once again, her lung collapsed resulting in yet another hospital stay.

Memphis's tumor again came up benign, but the doctor warned us that it was likely to make another return. Turns out, it had many tentacles and they were fairly sure they had not removed them all.

He developed an infection in the incision site and ended up with a hole as big around as a quarter and more than a half inch deep. It took months to heal and was very painful for him. The surgeon said that when (he said when, I was thinking if) the tumor came back they wanted to remove it again and keep it alive, feeding it until they knew what it would turn into. This was the first time I realized they had no idea what it really was. I didn't care; it wasn't cancer.

My sister-in-law, Kim, was pregnant. She was due in July but noticed in May that something wasn't right. The baby wasn't moving. The doctors paid her no attention until she just kept going back. Finally they did an ultrasound and realized Kim's placenta had torn partially away from her uterine wall. They did a c-section and precious baby Hope Leigh was born into this world with very little blood left in her tiny body.

Her condition was touch and go for the first few days with even some of the doctors admitting they weren't sure she would make it. Those doctors should know by now that any baby born into this family would be a fighter.

Mom was approved for a new therapy called a cyber knife, some kind of ultra concentrated radiation. Unfortunately, the CT scan just before she would have the treatment revealed many more lesions and cyber knife was no longer a consideration.

Hope spent many months in the NICU before being released to go home. Her release day was a great celebration.

In October 2010, we discovered that many of Mom's lesions had disappeared and the remaining ones were smaller. She had a few more chemo treatments and then a PET scan. All of the leftover lesions were cold. What a joyful day it was when this was found.

Hope spent more days in the hospital in December after having surgery to repair a heart defect.

Dad had surgery in December too. His nasal cavity was full of papillomas which needed to be removed. When he went back for his checkup in January, they were all back and then some. The doctor said that the speed at which they had grown back so thickly pointed to cancer and that the proximity to his brain did not bode well. He was immediately scheduled for another surgery to be done in February.

Here's a miracle for you. When he went back in February, his pre-surgery scan showed that the cavity was 85% clear. From 100% blockage one month to 85% clear the next with no treatment other than some routine pre-surgery antibiotics.

Since then, we have been without incident which is more than welcome. We are all weary, no one more so than my mother whose fight and tenacity I have never seen the equal.

We are praying that the storm is over. It was an especially long and intense journey and, even as I read over what I have written here, I can't believe we all made it through. I really believe that if we did not have our faith in God, we would have been lost to depression or worse, hopelessness.

I believe we were under attack. Maybe it was a test of faith, maybe a strengthening by fire. I don't know if we'll ever know, but these events have made me so much more grateful for love and family. I believe they have made me a better mom, and hopefully, a better wife, daughter, sister, aunt. I know my faith is stronger. I no longer hesitate to present my requests to God with thanksgiving for all he has blessed me with.

Cody turned 10 in January.

Carson will be 7 in March.

Meyson turns 18 in April.

My brother, Bill, is taking me and Mom to New York in May, right before precious Hope has her first birthday.

In June, Silas will turn 3, Brianna 14, and Memphis will be 5.

We will all celebrate Mom's 50th birthday in July. That's going to be a big celebration!

Brad and I will have our 4th anniversary in August.

These are the miracles I am looking forward to. The blessings that will overwhelm us for the next few months.

We will celebrate these with full knowledge that we don't deserve any one of them. They are gifts and will never again be taken for granted. God is good!

Going to Try This Again

Blogging? What do you mean blogging? Oh yeah, that thing that I used to enjoy so much. I forgot how, I think.



Ok...



Well, let's start with the kids. I can always come up with something about them.



Here they are:

Meyson has a job at Burger King and is contemplating his future. School, military, bills, money, love...so much opportunity. He's learned the hard way that bad choices come back and bite you later. Let's hope that lesson sticks. He's a good kid facing the big, bad world. Remember that?

Brianna is looking forward to soccer starting again soon and trying to determine whether or not to homeschool again next year. She's such a social girl that I won't be surprised if she chooses to go to public high school. I think she's enjoyed homeschooling this year, but I also think she misses seeing all of her friends everyday.

Cody lives for ballet. She loves it so much and is improving rapidly. I had to remind her the other day that she is precious and special not because she's a great ballerina, but because she is Cody and God made her special and unique. She looked at me like I was speaking gibberish. I'm going to have to figure out how to make that sink in.

Carson is sick right now. She tends to get high fevers with very few other symptoms, but she's an excellent patient. On normal days she is an eager and emotional child. She likes to learn, but gets distracted easily. I think daydreaming may be her activity of choice. Carson is very musical and we would like to get her into some kind of music lessons. For now, she sings all the time which is perfect.

Memphis sings all the time too. Not much on key, but that's what makes it so wonderful. His joy just spills right out of his mouth in whatever words and notes he likes. He is still the most daring of our children; I expect a broken bone or two in the next few years. Not that I'm looking forward to that, just trying to prepare myself.

Silas needs to spend more time out in public. She wants to be in control of any and all activities at all times. Since I tend to try and run errands when Brad is home, she hasn't had a whole lot of "public behavior" lessons. So beginning with our outing to the library in which she loudly announced that she did not like the young man who was standing next to us, and ending today when she refused to obey her Sunday school teacher, is a period of time in which I have realized my mistake. Silas can be the sweetest most compassionate baby girl you've ever met. She snuggles and plays and gives kisses and is generally lovely. I think the public deserves to see that side of her and she certainly deserves to be observed that way. Another lesson to impart...sigh.

Great kids, great husband, great life.

Party Animals

Last night was interesting. Let me give some background before I recount the story. Memphis and Silas share a room. Up until recently this has not posed any significant problems, but a few weeks ago Silas's need to get up and play finally rubbed off on Memphis. Before then Memphis was the best sleeper in the house. Now we can expect that for about 2 hours after bedtime we will have to enter their room with stern voices and swift action several times. They jump on the beds, throw toys, hit each other with books, pretty much anything they are not allowed to do during the day. Inevitably, someone ends up crying like they have lost a limb, everyone gets a spanking (don't tell me it's not necessary, you're not here) and they usually go right to sleep after that.

Last night. LAST NIGHT. I had been up for most of the night before last for other reasons, so I fell asleep around 10 last night in an attempt to catch up a little. Every once in awhile I would feel Brad get out of bed, but I was not conscious enough to know why. Finally at about 1:30 there was a particularly loud altercation and I was awakened to find Brad exasperated beyond sanity because the babies were still awake. WHAT!?! That's it! They'll be sorry now! Because here comes MOM!

When I entered the hallway, there they both were, running from the kitchen to the bathroom, up and down the hall, lights blazing. I thought for a second that maybe we were experiencing some kind of solar eclipse because, really, other than college students, who has this kind of energy in the middle of the night? Then they spotted me. Frozen, terrified. I could see it in their eyes. Silas sprinted for her bed while Memphis just stared up at me, his eyes pleading for mercy. I marched him into Carson's room, retrieved a sleeping bag, and laid it out there on the floor. He climbed in and said softly, "Sowwy Mommy." "Thank you Memphis, now go to sleep."

Then I returned to their room and shut the door. Silas can't open it. Ha! Fixed that problem. Now maybe we can rest.

And we did. But Memphis did not. When my very accurate and annoying internal clock woke me up at exactly 7:48 this morning, the babies' light was on, they were both in their own beds, and they were sleeping peacefully. Of course they were. They were up half the night partying. I was tempted to run in there and start throwing toys and jumping on the beds, but my punishment would have been far more severe than any I have ever inflicted upon them.

As it is, when they did finally emerge, Silas proved once again that she is incapable of being even somewhat reasonable on less than 10 hours sleep.

"Good morning Silas."

"NO!"

"Do you need a drink?"

"NO!"

"Fine, maybe you should go back to bed."

"NO! I NEED DRINK!"

Great. Today should be fun.

Oh Yeah, About All Those People Who Live Here...

It's been quite a while since I've done an update on all the kids, so I'm here today to remedy that. Let me preface by letting you know that I've been printing all of my blogs that have to do with the kids to make them a sort of baby book since my tired attempts at scrap booking failed miserably.



Meyson is now 17 and facing his last year of schooling. Although he would never admit it, I do believe he is terrified of what comes after that. He has big dreams for his future including herpetology and acting and/or directing. He has an amazing talent for drawing so we are trying to push him in that direction to give him a start. What he lacks is confidence so if you see him soon a little encouragement would be more than appreciated. Brad and I are on edge because Meyson seems to be at that point in his life where he is wavering between what he has been taught is right and the "easy" looking path that those of us with more experience recognize as the school of hard knocks. We pray everyday that our voices will reverberate within him and he will choose the right path.

Brianna has officially entered teenagerhood. Unnerving is not a big enough word. She continues to excel in school and still enjoys singing in the choir. I am continually amazed at how well she plays with the little ones. Her laugh echoes through our home brightening every space. They love her so much. Bri wants to give homeschooling a try next year. I'm a little concerned that I will not challenge her enough and, compensating, will set the bar too high. A balancing act will surely be necessary.

Cody is now 9 years old which makes me feel older than dirt. How on earth is it possible that I have a 9-year-old? Anyway, ballet is her passion! She eats, sleeps, and breathes it. And she's really good at it too. I'm fairly certain that I'll need to get her some kind of calender to keep with her so that she can keep up with her many social obligations. She is the activity leader in our home and her impeccable planning skills are sorely missed when she's visiting her dad. Which she is doing now. For three months straight. I miss her so badly that my heart actually hurts, but if it's possible, I think Carson may miss her more.

And speaking of Carson, she is a whopping 6 years old. At least that's how many years ago she was born. I fully believe she ages in somewhat the same way that dogs do because I sometimes think she may be more wise than I. Or anyone else I know for that matter. She says things like, "Mom, don't you wish you could just start over in life? I do." I never know what to say when she says things like that. I just smile and make a mental note to write that down later. Her new hobby is collecting bugs. It has been somewhat traumatizing. Her first three were "Buggy" the beetle, "Buddy" the moth, and "Lily" the spider. They had to be released before we took a trip to Dallas and you would have thought we were having a funeral. Currently her pets include "Leafy" the leaf bug and "He Who Has Not Been Named" the spider.

Memphis. What else can I say? He's just Memphis. Full of joy and life. Full of energy and wonder. Master of the monkey bars, king of extreme. He takes corners on one wheel. Sometimes he falls on his face (thank God for helmets) but in the next second he's up and trying again. No matter how many trials life throws at him, the boy just keeps smiling and shining. He has really come a long way with his speech and showcases that by singing all the time now. He still scares me everyday, whether I'm worrying about his fearlessness or his tendency to develop unexplained tumors. His exuberance tempers my worry. Most of the time.

Silas is a passionate child. Many things evoke very strong reactions from her. If she hears a song she will sing and dance until she falls down. If somebody tells her "No" it's tantrum city. And these are the kinds of tantrums where you can actually see flames shooting from her eyes. She bites, she claws, nothing is off limits. BUT, when it's time to cuddle, you have never snuggled so well. She wraps those tiny little arms as far as she can get them around your neck and squeezes you like you are her own personal stress ball. She will kiss all of your boo boos. The sweetness oozes from her every pore. And if you really want to see her passionate side, just mention Dora. Oh. My. Goodness. Dora hung the moon, didn't you know? She went over the troll bridge, through the icky, sticky mud, and to the top of gooey geyser, where she then hung the moon.

There you go. Now you are caught up and I have one more post to print and add to the books.

Sleeping Beauty, Finally

We had to move Silas to a toddler bed today. It wasn't something we wanted to do yet, but it became necessary when Spiderman (aka: Memphis) figured out how to scale the outside of Silas' crib and unzip her crib tent. She's only 18 months old, so we knew it was going to be interesting.

Uncle Billy and Aunt Kim bought Silas a four-poster toddler princess bed complete with gold crowns atop each spire. She loves it. She calls it her "nigh nigh."

At nap time we close the door completely so, while she was not able to leave the room, she did get up and play a little bit before falling asleep on top of a book in her new bed. Tonight was more of a challenge because Memphis was in there with her and we have to leave the door cracked so he can get out to use the bathroom if he needs to.

Memphis has always been a very good sleeper. His bed is his sanctuary. He doesn't get up unless he has a good reason. While we hoped Silas would follow his example, we knew it was unlikely.

Brad and I settled both babies into bed and then went to finish our dinner together. Not five minutes later we hear the door open and here comes Silas down the hall, belly sticking out in front, like she has every right in the world to be there. I escorted her back to bed, tucked her in again, thanked Memphis for staying in his bed, and left the room.

This ritual continued with Brad and I taking turns returning her to bed for about twenty minutes when we realized more drastic measures were going to be needed. I should mention that every time we went back in the room Memphis felt the need to inform us of the events that occurred while we were absent. "Mommy, Siyas get outta bed and she play with my toys and she get on my bed. Merry Christmas Mommy!!"

"Merry Christmas Memphis, thank you for staying in your bed, go to sleep now."

"Ok Mommy, thank you Mommy, merry Christmas!"

At this point we parked ourselves outside their door in the hallway. Every few minutes we had to go in and put the wayward child back in bed again. At one point we thought it might be over when we heard Silas saying, "Nigh nigh" over and over again. And we heard Memphis, "K-k-k-k-k-k, sssssshhhhhh....k-k-k-k-k-k, sssssssshhhhhh." His attempt to make Silas think he was already asleep. Brad and I had to stifle hysterical laughter.

It was not over, however, and we resorted to leaving the bedroom door wide open while we sat in the hall in view of her precious bed. Every time that little head popped up one of us would say, "Lay down Silas," and Memphis would echo, "Way down Siyas." Sometimes we had to count, "1...(Memphis chimes in with 2)...2...(Memphis..3)...3! Ok here we come." Little head back on the mattress.

After about and hour of this she started to wear down. She chatted to herself a little and then began to demand milk. "I wan mmmeeeeuuukkk. I wan mmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuukkkkkk!" Memphis' nerves were shot. "NO!"

And that was it. Both kids drifted off leaving Brad and I looking at each other asking, "That was it?!? Not so bad." Hopefully we won't have to eat our words tomorrow.

Mountain Man

Yesterday the weather was crazy in our city. We had quarter size hail at our house and I hear there were places in the city where there was baseball sized hail. Can't confirm that though. You know how people like their fish stories. Anyway we received so much hail that our grass was completely covered and it was piled about a foot high where it was coming off the roof. We were also under tornado warnings at various times throughout the evening. Fun times.

After the initial storm had passed, our backyard resembled a small lake. While I love the rain and we really needed it, I was dreading having to take the dogs outside. I knew that the next few days were going to be filled with constant paw wiping every time we had to let them out and back in again.

I left Brad with all the kids while I went to the store to get us some dinner. Upon my return I noticed that the back door was standing wide open. I didn't give it a second thought as I closed it and wondered why I am the only one who cares about things like that.

A few minutes later, Brad was looking out into the backyard and noticed the dogs were out there. Our dogs either stay in the house or in their pen in the backyard. They are not allowed to be out free in the yard because I don't want to deal with the kids tracking poop into the house on the bottoms of their shoes and because Junah can tear up a beautiful yard in no time. But, there they were frolicking in the lake and becoming saturated with mud.

So Brad immediately turned to Meyson, then Brianna, then Cody asking them all the same question in a loud and stern voice:

"Who let the dogs out?"

I know what you're thinking. No, nobody said, "Who, who, who, who."

Instead they just stood staring at him with gaping mouths and innocent eyes. I quickly interceded with, "I think you are forgetting the most likely suspect," and understanding flooded Brad's face right away. "Where's Memphis?"

Memphis is a boy in all ways. He saw an adventure before him and could not restrain himself from indulging. He was trekking around the swamp, backpack (probably full of survival gear) strapped on, full-sized shovel in hand. He set out to conquer the wilderness and defeat the enemy. He must have been dodging danger from every direction because he felt the need to camouflage himself using mud and leaves. He smeared them from head to foot. He was ready for anything.

And the look of joy that overcame him was unmistakable. This was the most awesome adventure, until...

He was scooped up by a big, hairy monster, otherwise known as DAD, and handed off to a smaller (but just as scary) monster who threw him into a tub full of ...CLEAN WATER!! Oh the horror that befell the hero. Cut down just when things were getting interesting.

He had a really good scrubbing (and so did the dogs) and was soon warm and dry and safe. I'm sure he is just waiting for his next adventure to begin.

Silas' Take Part 3

Ok, so I know it's been a long time since I updated you on my life, but I have been very busy! I am still a very happy baby but I am especially happy any time I have access to food. You know I can feed myself now. I really like cheerios, graham crackers, oyster crackers, peaches, and cereal bars. Oh, and I can hold my own bottle. See, I really am a big girl now. And I can prove it. I weigh in at 21 pounds which is only 5 pounds less than my big brother Memphis.

I don't let that weight difference get in my way though. I can hold my own with Memphis which scares my mommy to death. I just grab a handful of his hair or skin when he is being rowdy and he screams like a girl. I really love him though. He always greets me with a hug and a kiss when I wake up and I give him my biggest smile.

I tried to crawl for awhile, but it just wasn't working out for me. I found that the army crawl works great. I can go from zero to gone before my mommy and daddy know what happened. Then my mom put up this thing in the doorway that I can't crawl over. My brothers and sisters just hop over it and I cry because I haven't figured out how to nibble through it yet. I have two teeth that are perfect for nibbling.

I like to test out my new teeth on everything so I know what they can bite, but my mommy doesn't like it at all when I do that. She says things like, "yucky" and "blech" but I don't know what that means. Tasted pretty good to me. Except this one:

My family likes to slap their hands together for me a lot. At first I was kind of confused but then I tried it. Now I like to slap my hands together all the time and mommy says, "Silas, you're clapping!" Ok, if you say so.


I have the best Daddy in the whole world. I like to go see him right away when he comes home. He smiles and laughs and snuggles with me. I think he is wonderful and I really like his hat too.

I surprised him really good one day when he came home and watched me pull myself up to standing using a box that came in the mail. He really laughed a lot.

I see a lot of people I don't know everyday, but some people I keep seeing over and over again. I finally figured out that this is my Nana:

And this is my Mamaw:

I love them both very much! I tell them by smiling and bouncing and flapping my arms wildly when I see them.

I guess that's it for now. It's about time for another bottle and I can't miss eating time! Talk to you later.

Oh, and did I mention that I love my tongue?

And here's an update on my hair:

The Addict

"Hello, my name is Memphis and I am a Girl-Scout-Cookie-aholic."

"Hi, Memphis!"

"It all started when my mom agreed to be the cookie mom for my sister's Brownie troop. Hundreds of boxes lined the walls in our home every January. Thin Mints, Tag-a-Longs, Samoas...you name it, we had it. Those cookies called my name day and night. I would tear open boxes causing my mom to go nuts about having to buy another box. I would climb the shelves in the pantry, grab a box of chocolaty-minty Thin Mints, hide in a corner and devour as many as I could before my crunching gave me away. Then my mom would whisk me to the bathroom to wipe the goodness that had escaped off of my mouth and she would mutter something about my shirt being trash now. It only got worse from there. I know I'm an addict, but truth be told, I'm just not ready to give it up yet. Maybe I'll be back in March when cookie sales are over."

"Bye, Memphis!"

Control-Freak Santa

We didn't plan on getting to visit Santa when we went to a local Christmas decoration supply store, but he was there and the kids were so excited. I thought it would be a great opportunity to let them visit the jolly, old elf in a not-so-chaotic environment. It will go down as one of the most bizarre visits with Santa that we have ever had.

My brother and his family came in for Thanksgiving and they were in front of us in line. My nephew Hayden has a sweet obsession with St. Nick and Bill and Kim thought he would be overjoyed to see the big guy in person. As is common with two-year-olds, he instead had a panic attack and became permanently fused to his mother's side. 

Santa began his campaign to prove that he, a complete stranger, knew just how to force Hayden to comply. He told Kim to stand nearby while Carson and Memphis visited with him so that the little guy could see that there was nothing to worry about. Santa told Kim to put Hayden down next to her and hold his hand. Try as she might, Kim could not get Hayden to release his death grip on her, so she just stood where she had been instructed.

Apparently, this was not acceptable to Mr. Claus and he began to say things like, "You're not listening to me," and, "You need to follow instructions," to Kim. She finally had enough of the abuse and walked a little further away where Hayden could watch from a distance. It wasn't far enough away because Santa continued to bark instructions at her until she gave up and took Hayden to see the much less bossy stuffed version of Father Christmas at the back of the store. 

By this time, a full five minutes had been wasted and I was beginning to get very irritated myself. Santa had many instructions for me as well and I took lots of deep breaths to maintain my composure. 

I have a very nice camera, a style not normally carried by someone who does not know how to capture decent pictures with it. Even so, Mr. Claus felt the need to direct where I should stand to get the best shot. In fact, he was overly concerned with what poses he wanted me to capture. So much so that he did not even ask the kids their names or what they wanted for Christmas. 

It made for some pretty cute pictures, but overall I think the kiddos were quite disenfranchised with the whole experience. I've been explaining to them ever since that St. Nick was just cranky because nobody had brought him any cookies. Carson wants to make sure that if we go see him again we take plenty with us. Weird, weird Santa man.

A House Divided

It is football season although, for the most part, you wouldn't know it around our house. We are not huge football fans, but we do enjoy a good game every now and again. Being Texans, we are always happy to see a Texas team do well.

Last night, however, our Texas Tech Red Raider football team played the #1 Texas Longhorns and you can bet we were all hyped up for the battle. Brad, Cody, and I (and of course Memphis and Silas) are avid Red Raider fans, while Brianna, Meyson, and Carson (yes, they got her) were pulling for the Longhorns.

If you follow college football, you know that Tech pulled off a thrilling victory in the final seconds of the game. Woo Hoo!

I am appalled at Carson's endorsement of the Bevo crowd, but, of course, my blood runs black and red. So, when I was praying with her last night at bedtime, my prayer went like this:

"Dear God, Thank you for this day and for my precious Carson. Please keep her dreams pleasant tonight and let her know that she is so very loved. And go Texas Tech. In Jesus' name, Amen."

There was a long silence, and then, "Longhorns forever, longhorns forever, longhorns forever!" in a teeny-weeny girl voice complete with the hook 'em horns sign. ***Sigh***

Why So Serious?

Meyson was The Joker for halloween. He and Brad went to see The Dark Knight a few months ago and they have both been talking about it ever since. It was very important to Meyson that his costume was as accurate as possible. He did a great job on his make-up and was delighted to receive several compliments as we were out and about tonight. Check out these pictures. I hope they put a smile on your face.

Brianna decided Sarah Palin was a little too normal for halloween night, so here she is as a dead prom queen.

Cody, Carson, and Memphis stuck with their original costumes except that I added a few streaks of color to Memphis's hair. Batman became Batpunk.

They all got way too much candy and will be on a permanent sugar high until Christmas when they will receive stockings full of...what else but candy? Yay!!!

Happy Fall Ya'll

The halloween season used to be a big deal to me. I used to let two little girls peruse the costume sections of the McCall's books at the craft store. Then we would pour over every conceivable fabric in the store until we had found the perfect ones for their chosen costumes. I would spend $30 easily by the time we had left the store, and then I would spend hour after hour slaving away at the sewing machine, often whispering angry words at it.

Now there are six children who need costumes and the ritual has been reduced to a wild rummaging through the closets to find anything that will work. Why don't I just start a month earlier and sew all of their costumes? Because, I'm not (completely) insane.

Here's how it all turned out:

Carson is Snow White. I dug out the old dress that I had made for Cody a few years ago, borrowed a curly black wig, threw in some white tights and black mary-janes that we already owned, and voila! A beautiful Snow White costume for zero dollars and zero cents.

Cody is Hermione from Harry Potter. My mom gave me an old nun costume which I cut down to Cody's size, we borrowed a Gryffindor scarf from Bri, painted a wooden dowel brown for a wand, and braided her hair early in the day for wild Hermione hair. Again, zero dollars and zero cents.

Brianna is Sarah Palin. This was Mamaw's (Brad's mom) idea and we loved it. I inherited a skirt suit a couple of months ago that was perfect, she already had the glasses, and we spent some time straightening her hair and putting it up in a Palin-esque manner. Free again.

Bri would only commit to the Palin idea if I agreed to be Hillary Clinton. Now let me just make it very clear that I am not in any way endorsing Hillary, I just happen to resemble her more than McCain. I'm not sure that everyone at our church carnival got the joke.

Silas is a mandrake. You know, the screaming baby plants that they re-pot in the first Harry Potter? I started with the ladybug outfit that I made for Cody. Obviously, I did not use the red part with the black dots on it. Brad and I cut some leaves off of his canna plants and I attached them to the ladybug bonnet. She was the cutest little killer mandrake ever.

Memphis is Batman. The bodysuit cost me $3.99 at a thrift store and the cape was one that Meyson had used in the past that we cut down to fit Memphis. He's not a fan of Batman really, but it was the only costume at the store that would both fit Memphis and cost less than $20.

We went to the annual festival at our church this evening and the kids had a blast. Memphis in particular was so much fun to watch. This is the first year he really understood what was going on.

He found a big mural with the beloved Bob and Larry on it and his reaction was priceless.

He is much more brave and skilled at climbing than we thought he would be. I really thought he would need some help climbing up the ladder in the big inflatables, but he not only did not, but climbed them like he had done it a thousand times before.

Getting candy was a huge thrill for Memphis and he soon figured out that he could charm his was to more than his fair share. He would skip the games and run straight for the person manning the candy bag, sign "more, please" and hold his bag open for them. Who could resist that? Nobody at our church apparently. He made quite a haul.

We knew it was time to go when he couldn't go two minutes without throwing a fit. His feet became immovable cement blocks and his voice went to full volume as he screamed his disapproval that he was not allowed to pickle fish for the 15th time. He would then become a limp pile of wailing flesh complete with a bloody nose. No joke.

The last time, I picked him up, potato-sack style, under my arm and walked very quickly toward the door with my hand over his mouth. I'm pretty sure that at least a couple people questioned whether or not he belonged to me. Yes, yes, the out of control, screaming banshee is mine. Thank you very much.

Total Freak-Out Deluxe

Some of you know how attached Memphis is to his blanket. In a previous post, I wrote about how he was attached to four blankets. Thankfully, he has cut down on the bulk. He still sleeps with all four, but we only have to cart the green one with us everywhere we go.

And I do mean everywhere. I am constantly grabbing it from him while we walk across parking lots and stores so it won't get so disgusting, but with as much abuse as it takes, it's pretty much always dirty. I'm pretty sure his teacher at PDO thinks I am an unfit parent.

This morning, we went to church. Then we went home to change clothes before going to my mom's house for lunch. Somewhere in the fray, we lost track of the blanket. Normally my first rule is: Grab the blanket, then the kids. After all, if we lose one of the kids, chances are someone will return them. If someone found the blanket, they would probably pick it up with a stick and drop it in the dumpster, which would be a tragedy. Today my brain was on vacation.

Memphis WILL NOT sleep without the blanket. One time when we misplaced it in our house I just put him to bed without it when I got tired of searching for it. I learned quickly that sleep with no blanket is not an option.

So, I began my search and rescue mission. I looked in every nook and cranny of the car and checked all of his usual blanket hiding place in the house. I had Brad on a mission to check out church while my mother conducted a thorough inspection of her home.

We were coming up with nothing and I was beginning to feel faint and queasy. I'm not sure the store where we bought the blanket carries them anymore, and even if they do, I'm not sure that Memphis would accept a replacement that is not worn and smelly.

In desperation, I reminded my mom that Memphis likes to shove his blanket into little places. One time we found it crammed into the under seat compartment of his Diego ride-on car.

She went on another sweep-through and amazingly discovered the blanket! It had been stuffed into a large, pink Barbie motor home. Apparently Memphis thought his blanket needed a vacation. Me too.

Recuperating

We visited our county fair yesterday and we are still exhausted after a full night of sleep. It's tiring enough to walk a long way and to subject your body to the rigors that some of the rides provide, but on top of that we were constantly looking around us to make sure we still had six little bodies with us. I can't even imagine the freak out if we were to lose one of them.

Cody and Carson are particularly hard to keep up with because they tend to be easily distracted by the noise and lights and crazy looking people. More than once I turned around to find them totally absorbed in something that had caught their eye.

We had the double stroller with us which takes Memphis out of the equation, thank God. Had he been loose we would have spent the entire time running after him shouting, "Hey you little monster! Don't you know we are here to protect you from the huge machinery and insane carnies? Stop running away!"

Brianna spent the afternoon trying to steal my cotton candy. I am very serious about cotton candy. It is the most amazing creation ever. So, I was glad that it seemed to satisfy Bri and the other kids when I gave them each a little bit.

Silas did amazingly well riding in the stroller or strapped to the front of either Brad or me. At one point, while I was wearing her, Brad was trying to talk me into riding a particularly scary ride. I said, "Alright, alright, but if I die it's your fault," and we proceeded to make our way over to The Inverter.

Meyson thought that I was going to leave Silas strapped to me during the ride and was extremely distraught at the thought of how scared she would be. He began trying fervently to convince me that it was a really, really bad idea. He's a good big brother.

We never did make it over to The Inverter, much to Brad's dismay, but I think everyone else got to ride everything they wanted to ride. Now we have a whole year to recover and it's a good thing because we're going to need it.

Not Quite Official

Memphis has been in speech therapy now for about a month and a half. I had written before that I thought his problem was mainly an unwillingness to speak, but it's looking more and more like an inability. The more our SLP (speech-language pathologist) works with him, the more she thinks we are heading down the path of CAS (childhood apraxia of speech).

We have visited this disorder before. Brad and I first read about it in a parenting magazine and thought we recognized Memphis' problems. I brought it up to his feeding therapist and that is what first started us thinking about speech therapy. My little brother, Richard, is autistic so I immediately picked up the phone and called my mom who suggested that I call his old speech therapist, Rosanna.

Rosanna gave me the name of a specialist at our health sciences center and we made an appointment to visit with her. I was pretty excited about this visit because Rosanna stressed to me that this specialist was the best there is, that she could spend five minutes with a child and give a pretty accurate picture of what that child's prognosis is.

She mentioned, without knowing it was a concern of mine, that Memphis showed some red flags for apraxia, but that he was a little young for a formal diagnosis. I went home after the meeting and researched what, exactly, apraxia of speech is.

When we are babies, we first learn gross motor skills, then fine, with talking being the most complicated fine motor skill there is. Talking requires the brain to first formulate what to say and then send messages to the lips, tongue, soft palate, jaw, etc. All of these body parts must come together to form any words we say.

In children with apraxia of speech, the message is blocked somewhere. "They" are still not sure whether the planning part of the brain does not plan correctly, or if there is a disconnection somewhere along the path to the mouth. Research is still being done to try and figure that part out.

What this means for Memphis is that he is fully aware of what it is he is trying to say and probably thinks the sounds he makes are correct for the words he is attempting to form. This makes it all the more frustrating for him when we don't understand him.

One of the main markers for apraxia is the gap between what a child understands and what he is able to express. Memphis' gap is quite large. He understands everything we say and has proved this many times over to his SLP.

What this means for the rest of us is that we have to give Memphis some way of communicating with us. Brad and I and hopefully my mom are going to be taking sign language classes this fall. Then we will be teaching it to all of the other kids. The more people who understand him, the less frustrated he will be. He will not be so frantic to get his point across and will be able to concentrate more on his speech lessons.

As I read, I learned that the prognosis for children with CAS differs. Some go on to talk normally, some seem to have an accent because their vowel sounds are "off", and still other never learn to speak. Memphis does have a leg up, we think, because there are many kids with CAS who cannot even use their voices and, as we all know too well, Memphis has no trouble using his voice.

He shocked the stuff out of his SLP and I the other day when he said, "Carrr," as we were talking to him about a Lightening McQueen book. I'll never be able to explain the triumph I felt in that moment. It was like the fears that I had about Memphis never speaking turned into a readiness to do whatever it takes to help my son.

I'll update on Memphis' progress periodically so you can follow our journey. Maybe there is someone out there who has some ideas for us. Or maybe there is someone out there who is concerned about their own child's development. Maybe you just really love us a lot and are pulling for Memphis as much as we are. Or maybe you visited today hoping to read something funny. Sorry to disappoint, but funny will return soon. Funny makes an almost daily appearance around our house and I love to share the fallout.

Lemonade Anyone?

Brianna, Cody, and Carson have been begging to have a lemonade stand for about a week. The weather had other plans. But today we finally had a nice day and they were very excited. Brianna came up with the idea of having a "wacky" theme for their stand, hence the costumes. If you look closely you can see a very unhappy Memphis trying desperately to join the fun.

The scene was pretty adorable. Every time a car passed, Cody ran around hollering like an Indian, Carson would do the hula, and together they would shout, "Buy some wacky-tacky lemonade!" When I finally liberated Memphis, he would raise his arms and shout with them, only his sounded more like, "Ahhhh-da-da-ba-doo-ma!!" Or something like that.

I guess their gimmick worked. They made $11.50 in just over an hour. Not too shabby.

Lesson Learned

During the painting of the kids' room, Memphis' crib was on it's side and covered in plastic. I suppose we could have uncovered it at bedtime, but I wasn't too keen on the idea of having my asthmatic child sleep in a room that was saturated in paint fumes. So, I decided to let him sleep with Brad and I. It was really our only choice.

Have you ever tried to sleep with a tornado that never stops talking?

He was up much later than usual so I thought he would be so tired that he'd just conk out. Wrong. When we finally got him to sit still he kept chanting, "MA!....MA!....MA!....MA!" at the top of his lungs. This went on for probably ten minutes and nothing would make it stop. At one point, I even got about two inches from his face and said, "Stop saying MA!!" and it didn't slow him down one bit.

He finally dozed off and Brad and I were very relieved. Stupid. What Memphis did in his sleep made me realize that he's going to have to be in his crib for at least another six months. I didn't know that a person could be so active while sleeping. He thrashed around smacking Brad and I in various places all night long. He was on the pillow, then at the foot of the bed, then laying on Brad's head, then on my feet. I swear, it's no wonder the kid only weighs 22 pounds.

Of course, at some point, Silas woke up to eat and Memphis was also awakened. He lay there very quietly for a few minutes and then positioned himself directly over Brad's ear and said, "DOH!" I'm not sure I'll ever forget the response Brad gave from his half-comatosed state. He looked at Memphis and without missing a beat said, "Go to sleep, DOH!" I had to contain my laughter.

Anyway, we have learned our lesson. No more sleeping with Memphis.

From The Mouths and Fingers of Babes

I suppose some of you have come over from Nicole's blog after reading about my darling Carson's plans for the future. She apparently has become quite the little eavesdropper. And, in Brad's defense, his recovery has been somewhat slowed by the unrelenting activity of Memphis.

But, I will go ahead and take this opportunity to share a little conversation between Carson and Claire. Probably Claire's attempt to retain her throne of things that make people die laughing.

Nicole and I took all of the kids to Krispy Kreme (they should be paying me for all this advertising) for a tour of the place. It's actually pretty neat and it's short enough to hold the kids' attention. And you get a dozen FREE donuts. Can't beat that.

When I picked them up from VBS, Carson and Claire informed me that they had donuts as part of their dinner there. I remarked on how they must be getting sick of donuts by now and then:

Claire: "If you eat too many donuts, you get sick."

Carson: "They didn't make me sick, but if you eat your boogers then you get sick."

Claire: "Well, I don't get sick when I eat my boogers!"

Of course not! It is possible that Carson's nasal excretions hold more infectious material than Claire's.

And I have one last little morsel of profane humor for you today. I have a sweet, wonderful, innocent baby girl who, apparently, had been pushed too far on this particular day.

Ok, I'll stop taking your picture for Pete's sake. No need to get hostile.

Don't Leave Children (or Donuts) Unattended

Yesterday I bought some Krispy Kreme donuts. Cody, Carson, Memphis, Silas and I were taking a trip to New Mexico to drop Cody off with her Dad for a visit. Between the five of us we ate six donuts. Of course, Silas ate the most.

There were six donuts left in the box this morning. I gave Carson and Memphis three of them for breakfast this morning and then I went back to my room. I was lazy. I thought that maybe on this Sunday morning, while Brad is recovering from "open heart surgery" aka no more baby surgery, I could lay down for a few more minutes. I figured since these parents of six were down to three children, we might be more likely to be allowed a few extra moments to snooze. I was right.

Brad and I slept right through Memphis noticing the donut box on the counter. We were unconscious when he took the box from the counter and went to find Carson. We were completely unaware as together they opened the box and devoured the three remaining donuts and replaced the box on the counter as if nothing had happened.

We were so oblivious that we didn't realize anything was amiss until Brad went to get himself a donut and was terribly disappointed to find that the box was empty. And when I asked Carson what had happened, I saw a lie forming in her mind. Her eyes shifted and she looked guilty. Fortunately for her, she used her better judgement and aborted her attempt at a fib. Instead, she laughed her cutest laugh and said, "I guess we ate them all."

I should be telling you that she was then punished for eating unauthorized quantities of donut, but honestly, I'd let them eat six dozen donuts for the chance at a little extra sleep. I would love to give you some more updates, but I have to get to Krispy Kreme before they close.

Her First Few Days

Silas is a wonderful baby. As is typical for new infants, she eats, sleeps, poops, and cries, although the crying does not usually last very long. She had her first official photo shoot while we were still in the hospital. I was delighted to find her alert time on day 2 coincided nicely with some really nice light coming into our room.

She is already Daddy's little girl. She loves to hear Brad's voice and his chest is her first choice for a good sleeping place.

My mom brought the three little kids to visit us at the hospital. Carson asked to see my belly, rubbed my stomach and said, "You got another one in there?" Thank you Carson. She was probably the most excited about Silas' arrival in the days before the birth, but when I called to inform her that she had a little sister, she said, "Yay! Can we have a lemonade stand today?" Sure, why not?

Going home

Cody cannot catch a glimpse of one hair on Silas' head without begging to hold her. She is the little mommy.

Memphis is surprisingly sweet with Silas. When he sees her, he runs to kiss her head. It doesn't seem to bother him that he may squish her little arms or legs when he leans over her, but it does bother me. Imagine that. He's going to be an incredible big brother.

First bath at home

Meyson and Brianna have not had the pleasure of meeting their new sibling yet, but they will be home tomorrow. They are very excited.

Silas is precious and we can't help but just stare at her and smile for much longer then we really should. She is a little miracle.