The Joys of Vomit

As is common for most winters, this one has been full of wonderful mystery viruses. You know the kind where your child is miserable so you pull them out of bed, struggle to get some decent clothes on them and drag them to the doctor leaving a trail of snot and vomit behind you. At the doctor's office (where several trails of snot and vomit collide) there are children who make you wish you would have just toughed it out at home, but you are still holding on to the hope that there is some miracle cure for you child's ailment. So, if you are anything like me, you make your other kids sit as still as possible, touching only what is absolutely necessary. You see, going to the doctor's office is a bit like running a gauntlet. Chances are you're gonna get smacked. Someone will pick up some fraction of a germ with the corner of their shirt and from there it will multiply.

But, you are willing to brave all of this for the possibility that you may get to walk around the house without carting an inconsolable child on your hip, or sleep all night without having to get up just to give tylenol or rock a miserable baby back to sleep. At the very least you hope your child doesn't have to be as uncomfortable.

While my doctor's office is clean and my doctor is relatively quick to see us, I can't help but think that we are just perpetuating our illnesses by visiting there. I took Memphis to have his ears looked at because he was cranky and pulling on them. They were not infected thank goodness. Four days later I had to take him back because he was coughing really badly and having trouble breathing. Turns out he had croup. Hmmm...croup has an incubation of about 2-5 days. Where do you think he got it?

Wait, it gets better. The day after the croup visit was a Saturday and that's when Memphis started leaking. And by leaking I mean a constant river of the worst diarrhea I have ever encountered and a semi-constant stream of vomit heaving out of his little tiny body. Ok, I know that was gross, but if you're a mother you know what I mean and that statement will have no effect on you whatsoever.

I tried hard to stay away from the doctor's office this time. Alas, almost a week went by and the only change was that he had become so good at vomiting (from all the practice) that he was able to soak not only himself, but also all of me and about 50% of the chair we were sitting in.

So we went back.

All of these things were caused by viruses. Lovely little bugs that I'm 99% sure we picked up at the doctor's office. Why even go?

Next time you can follow the snot and vomit trail from my house to the local bar.