Why I will soon be institutionalized...
Meyson has decided to play football. We were quite surprised to hear this coming from a kid who is normally so passive, but we thought it might be good for him. So we set out to conquer the 36 pages of information we had to fill out in order for him to play. Among the requests were spaces for mine and Brad's social security numbers. I thought it was odd at first but soon realized that this must be so that they can run a credit check to see if we could afford all the expenses that come with playing MIDDLE SCHOOL FOOTBALL.
Somewhere in the packet was a page with about 2 sentences typed all in caps and in such a huge font that the whole page was consumed by these life-altering statements. It said something to the effect of we are not responsible if your son suffers a catastrophic injury. And it mentioned the word death. Meyson had to sign this page. Here is the conversation that took place afterward:
"What is a claustrophobic injury?"
"It's catastrophic, and it means like if you break you neck or something." (said with dry sarcasm, I'm not that mean.)
"That can happen?"
"Well, it sometimes happens, but not very often or there wouldn't be football in middle school anymore."
"You can die from that?"
"Ummm...I guess sometimes, but lots of people don't die from it." (wishing I had never said "break your neck")
Meyson pushes away from the table, horrified.
"WHAT!?!? I didn't even know you could break your nuts. I can't believe you can die from that!"
Astonished silence followed by uncontrollable laughter complete with tears.
"Meyson, I said neck, not nuts."