The Truth Hurts

"Hey mom, are you done burning dinner yet?"

"Carson, are you asking me if I'm done cooking dinner yet?"

"Oh yeah, are you done cooking dinner yet?"

WARNING!!! Barrage of photos ahead...

This...

is why we went on vacation.

This...

is Bond, Jared Bond. The man who loves his wife so much, he flew me out on his dime.

This...

is the lovely Karin who is busy feeding her unborn child some really good chocolate cake.

This...

is what happens when Jared makes a smart alec comment.

This...

and this...well...I'm not sure what these are.

This...

is what a hero looks like.

This...

is the baby that nobody knew was on the plane. Yes, it was a miracle.

This...

is the little girl who is going to be an amazing big sister.

This...
is the "pretty bridge." Named by the amazing big sister.

This...
is what happens when you spend all day shopping.


This...

is a face I miss everyday.


This...
is a face that haunts my dreams. Just kidding Jared, but this isn't near as bad as the picture I'll post if you don't bring Karin back to us!

This...

is the baby that Jared watched for 3 days! Yes, he is a saint.

This...

is what happens when you shop for 4 days and then try to cram everything into 3 suitcases.

This...

and this...

and this...

are what amazing friendships look like.

Stealing water, saving lives

My friend Nicole and I just got back from visiting our other friend Karin on the East coast. We had a wonderful time, including visiting every Goodwill store in the entire city. I believe there were six. Yes, we spent a big portion of our vacation shopping at Goodwill. If you know us, you understand.

We also got to visit the beach which was really cool.

It was so good to see Karin and her family again. I just can't explain how much I miss her.

Anyway, one of the many highlights of the trip came after an incredibly bad experience with the worst airline in the world. We were walking out of the airport after missing our flight when a man who was walking through security started seizing. The amazingly helpful TSA agents stood there watching him stop breathing and began asking if anyone knew CPR. If you ever need help in an airport, do not ask the TSA people. You may as well have them sign your death certificate.

Nicole threw her bags down and ran in true Baywatch fashion to the aid of a man she had never seen before in her life. She did chest compressions and viola! he was breathing again. GO NICOLE!! YOU ARE MY HERO!

It doesn't stop there. Then she began consoling the man's hysterical wife while holding the man down because he was disoriented and trying to stand up.

Here's the really dramatic part.

There I am. Observing Nicole's bravery in a state of awe, thinking that if I ever choke on a chocolate riesen, she's the one I want standing next to me. Yes, that's right. I was standing there doing nothing. Well that's not totally true I was praying...and I stole water.

I know, that doesn't sound like helping, but believe me it was. Nicole said, "he's really hot, go get me some water."

Being very eager to do something other than pace, I ran (with Memphis strapped to my chest) to the nearest store and STOLE AQUAFINA. Yes I did. Ran in that store, grabbed the bottle, and ran out. Surely the man would not have made it if I had stopped to pay for the water.

So, the moral of the story is: If you don't know CPR, go take a class. If you do know CPR, do not be afraid to help someone. And if you are in a life threatening situation before you take CPR, don't be afraid to steal water.

Ugly Naked Guy

I have been watching Friends for many, many years now so I am due my very own real life Friends-esque experience. I got it the other day and now I'm wondering...could I be any more disgusted?

A few weeks ago my neighbor came over to ask if I needed someone to mow my lawn. I said sure and he has done a very nice job both times. This last time he mowed early in the morning and I didn't have any cash so I told him I'd pay him later after I had gone to the ATM. Big mistake.

When I got home I noticed he was home and Memphis and I crossed the street and rang our neighbor's doorbell. His clear, transparent, see-through, glass screen door was closed, but his main door was WIDE OPEN. Here he comes, around the corner in all his naked glory(used VERY loosely), holding a beer.

So I turned around and walked back to my house still in possession of his $20. Great. Now what? I don't have any frame of reference for this. I have never known anyone who was greeted in this manner. Not even Rachel or Phoebe.

For the sake of my sanity, I have to assume that his doorbell did not ring and that he was merely walking around his own home in the buff with no idea that I was standing there with my infant son. But, I can't shake the obvious question. Why, why, why would you walk around your home glaringly naked with only the clear, transparent, see-through, glass screen door between you and your fully clothed neighbors?

If you know the answer, please don't tell me. I prefer to live in ignorant bliss, thank you.

Easter Loveliness

The weather was not conducive to Easter egg hunts this year. It was wet and drizzly and very, very cold. It did not deter the children though; they were continuously on the lookout for the only bunny in the world who lays eggs. Probably never going to understand that. Anyway, my little brother and I ran madly around my mom's front yard throwing the eggs wherever. It took us about four and a half minutes to "hide" 60 eggs.

I really wanted to go outside and take Easter pictures of the kids together. I took pains to make sure they all matched each other and everything. It was way too cold to ask them to sit outside for that long, not to mention that the girls had tights on with their sandals. Yes, I have officially become one of those mothers. I did take some individuals of them and I guess we'll go take group ones later when it warms up again.

Happy Day

I had one of the best days of my whole life this past Thursday. Some of you won't understand and that's ok. Some of you will identify and be excited. And it won't matter one way or the other to the rest of you, but maybe someday it will.

On Thursday my baby Cody became a Christian. She came to me with many questions and the funny thing was that she already knew most of the answers. She just needed some validation from me and, after consulting a very dear friend, I was able to give her that. I am so incredibly happy because I know now that whatever she comes across in her life, she'll be able to get through it. She will never again be alone. She will always have hope.

Of course, we went to get her a Bible of her own and, being Cody, she had to pick the most girly one they had. It is bright pink with an inlaid purple cross on the front and silver rivets around the cross. We had her name put on the front in silver script. She is so proud of it. Her baptism will be in a couple of weeks.

I'm the proudest mommy in the whole world today.

Seriously...?

"Mooo-ooom! Carson accidentally dropped a marker lid in the toilet!"

"Why do you have a marker in the bathroom?"

"It was already in here."

Yeah, because I leave markers in the bathroom all the time. I mean you never know where artistic inspiration may strike.

"Don't worry mom. I got it out!"

Best of March 2007

March was busy, but it went by fast. Memphis can crawl really fast now and he is threatening to walk any day. Whenever I see that look in his eye I make him sit down and remember how much fun it is to just sit around. But really, Cody is convinced that if he tries to stand up he will explode or something. She will do that panicky gasp thing and I'll drop what I'm doing and come running only to find that Memphis has just tried to cruise along the edge of the couch. You know, people have lost eyes doing that.

Carson turned 3 and she makes sure that everyone knows it. "I'm this many" while awkwardly holding up 3 little fingers. She has become very emotional, something I didn't think I would have to deal with much for the next 10 years or so. It gets better not worse, right?

His first biter biscuit. Really more for slobbering than biting.

Straight from the runway...boots with underwear.

Don't worry, there's enough mischief in there to make up for all that sweetness.

Here too...

He finally plays with all his toys. Up until now they were just decoration.

For Pete's sake Cody, he will never learn if you don't let him go.

Tra la la la la la

Ouch! I have no idea how long he was like this.

Do you see the size of that pool?

The climbing has begun. I'm scared. Beep.